Now the real work begins

Getting ready to serve a mission is a lot of work and it's a lot of hard work! There's preparing yourself physically and mentally and emotionally and  financially and above all Spiritually.This week alone since receiving my call 3 days ago....I have been super duper stressed out! Satan knows that when I don't think clearly I don't accomplish much!

Sooo right now I am focusing on my passport and my money situation and my license, It's a lot to deal with at once but I know that I can survive.

Also I am starting to practice my Spanish a little each day! Whew I can't wait till I am fluent enough to hold a conversation!

Last but not least scripture study, going out with the sisters, looking at all the stuff needed for pre-mtc training it is a lot of work!!!

Oh also getting ready to enter the Temple and for the life style change after that! Also all the shopping. Ugh! I am not a girl that likes to shop and man does Ecuador require that I shop like a maniac! ( But a very picky maniac!!)

Ok more later mwhahahhaa
Love
 Hermana Dugan

I am going to serve in ECUADOR!!!

 Dear Sister Dugan,
   You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You are assigned to serve in the Ecuador Guayaquil South Mission.

and I leave in 74 days!!!

 This is Crazy! I don't know Spanish, I have never left the country and don't have a passport! ahhhh time to get cracking!


I love you all and i can't wait to start this awesome adventure!!!


Love you all,


  HERMANA DUGAN

And the Adventure Continues

We are officially at 5 weeks today since meeting with my stake pres, President Silva. And he informed me yesterday that he had a little trouble at the beginning and my papers were not actually submitted to Salt Lake till September 2nd. That was 14 days ago! But last Friday in all this waiting something magical happened!!!

                                                       
                                                             My ldsmail.net email opened! 

                 Also my portal has a new button for my "pin" which is attached in my call packet! 

After all this worry and strain it is finally coming true the lord is finally trusting me to teach his children and serve. But with this comes the responsibility that i have to follow through with all of my promises to the Lord which includes exact obedience no matter how hard he makes that I will not fail because I can't! I promised if the Lord saw me fit to serve that I would serve fully and honestly and push with all my might! I honestly can't wait to find out where i am going and surprising I have become very excited about serving stateside! I know he will lead me exactly where I am needed and if that means in my own back yard then I will trust him to lead me to those that can hear my words and know the message of the restored gospel!!! No matter where... (OK except 2 places and that's only because I really don't want those distractions) but other than those two places I will go with a full and happy heart to preach in my native tongue or in a foreign land because it's not about me it's about me standing in For him and letting the Holy Ghost do the work!!

                           

                                                     The Last Final Days of Guesses.

 I love you all and can't wait to know where he needs me and when!!! My biggest dream to serve a mission is finally coming true!!! I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 WEEK UPDATE - STILL WATING

 and that's ok. I continue to pray and study. I can only hope that I am waiting for a greater purpose. Whether it be my mission that I need to go to isn't available yet. Someone isn't ready for me to teach them yet and that I just need a little more bonus time to study. :)  There hasn't been any news to indicate a problem. So I patiently keep waiting. :)

Cast your vote

   Since my papers are in ....
              why do you head on over to my facebook page and cast your vote on my cover photo!!!

                                                      RIGHT HERE CLICK HERE!!!!

My Papers are in!!!

    So last night I got an text message from my stake president saying that my papers were in!
      And to quote many many many others I should be getting my call in about 2-6 weeks. Sooooo no pressure right? Right!

    I am super excited to find out where the Lord officially needs me. I have wanted to go on a mission kind of forever and knowing it is now in sight is extremely nerve wracking. Seriously my fourth grade teacher and I met up about a year ago and she laughed when I told her I would be putting in my papers ( I have been trying for over a year to do so) but she laughed and remembered that in 2001 I was very set on serving a mission. Even as a fourth grader. Apparently she had no idea sisters could go and I very boldly told her so.
 
 Through high school though the idea of a mission slipped away from my mind. Honestly it was the last thing I ever could have seen me doing. At the end of high school two of my best friend both served there missions in different parts of Washington. Both were amazing Elders  and huge inspirations to me through 2010-2013. In the year 2010, I went to general conference with two very good friends. Toni and Hannah. During the morning Sunday session the choir sang " I'll go where you want me to go" I got this rush of crazy emotions and leaned in to the other girls and said "guys I want to serve a mission"  Well at the time I was only in my first year of college and it didn't fit into my time line. I also wanted to finish school. I was very conflicted.  I spoke with my bishop and he said he would pray about it and get back to me. He did as he said he would and his answer was a solid FINISH SCHOOL!
    So I continued and I had a rough year of school after that even...and in 2012...I messed up big time. And honestly ...I figured most of my dreams for any redemption were out the window. But I graduated and moved onto another college to finish my bachelors degree. Still with the knowledge of everything all I could do was move on.

  Well I got a new bishop and things began to heal. I fixed myself up and started looking at myself again as a worthy member of the church and as a daughter of God. Once my bishop and I were finally moving on from my past transgression he asked now what? This was January of 2013. I immediately said I want to serve a mission. Little did I know that my  best friend from that General Conference Hannah was thinking the same thing. Well my bishop said that he had an immediate feeling that yes I could take mission prep but I wasn't allowed to leave till after school.

  This is the second time a bishop had said that so I figured I should listen to the guiding.

Hannah received her call August of 2013 from Indianapolis. Yep she just her hump mark. I can't believe how wonderfully Sister Ruth is doing.

Well I waited and waited and have seen multiple calls go out and come back since my first desire to serve in 2010.

I am no officially graduated and oh my goodness the  blessings! I have been able to attend the temple more, institute more and many outings with the current sisters in my area.

I truly believe something my stake president said last night. I would have been able to go then but I am truly prepared now.

I could have left before but I think back on all the things I have learned and I am so grateful for the opportunity to really grow and become a servant of Heavenly Father. I know a mission will not be easy but it is so important to me. I truly feel clean and free from the bonds Satan had me in and if I can free someone out in the world of their own bondage then I will have done what I know the Lord wanted. He let me go through those experiences not so i could hate myself but so I could love another in the same situation without any judgement but with the pure love of Christ. I only hope that I can meet this person soon and they know that my love for them is the same love Heavenly Father has for every singly person on this Earth.

I am so excited to know where I am going. Here are a few people's prediction I shall be adding to as the weeks progress.

As for my hopes. I would love to go somewhere without English but I am hopeful for a call that no matter where he sends me I will know it's where i meant to be sent and that I will be able to spread the Gospel to whomever has ears to hear it! I will be happy going anywhere....even back to Utah. haha

I shall keep you all posted!
   Rach

Come What May

Come What May And Love it - Joseph B Worthlin

All Things Work Together- James B Martino

So these two talks made a world of difference this week as I continued on my way to paying for my mission and other drama that waltzed in unannounced. First I realized that all the negative things I was feeling were not from the Lord but from Satan trying to change my mind.

Once I realized that I was much easier to accept what was going on around me without choice. AS most of you know here I really don't like my current job but I can't find a better placed job at the moment and quitting is not an option till I can afford my mission.So I have to learn to apply the idea of come what may and love it. I have to be ok with these external bitter situations because on the inside I was full of joy.

Except for one little issue. His name was ___________. It really doesn't matter. I met him at the temple and he was incredibly funny. Not the most attractive but not bad either. He was tender and sweet. But boy was he a push over. He was being walked on pushed on and it really was hurting him. He would come chatting to me every night with drama after drama after drama and honestly by yesterday I knew he was sadly beyond hope unless he removed himself from that situation. I could definitely not help him any longer .It honestly was dragging me down!!

So last night I really prayed about it but my answer in my heart was already decided.
   it was a no

Also yesterday Satan really tempted me with a way to my dream job at WDI....but I also told them no and hoped I would be given the chance to work with them later.

So now it's just me. I am getting my physical taken care of tonight and if all goes well I should be able to submit my papers to my bishop tonight. I can't explain my excitement and my pure joy of this opportunity but I do know there are still little things ( nothing that would stop me from going on a mission)  but little things I still need to work on.


So yesterday after this very long week of work and bottled bitterness, Yesterday I came across a chapter of D&C. Section 93. It was absolutely amazing and I learned a lot!!

 First thing I learned were some of the reasons why the Lord is called what he is. Why he is the father, the son and the word. It was amazing to feel a little closer to him and know that I could be like that if I endure and try a little harder to grow a little taller. I was so engrossed in just the first 24 verses it took me all three hours of church to completely take all my notes. I am so proud of myself because it does prove that i can study and really learn from the scriptures the way the Lord intended. I drank so deeply from the fountain of living water yesterday that i am thirsty today for more so who knows what i will read but whatever I do I am pretty sure I am finally learning to devour this teaching and wonderful gospel!!!

Status Update on the Tour jusqu'à My Mission

So as you probably remember this picture :

if you don't please click here to read allllllllll about it

STATUS UPDATE

 The FIRST HILL was a relatively easy one. finish my dental work. That happened back on June 5th 2014. 

And the SECOND HILL was kind of painless despite it's size and factor of removing four of my teeth.  check and double check. 

This THIRD HILL  that I am on right now feels bigger than the other two combined. I finally received health insurance and now no doctors office will accept the insurance I have. It is limited and with that I am limited. I am terrified now more than ever because I can't seem to get anyone to do my physical and if no one will do that I can't find out if there is something seriously wrong with this wonderful body of mine. 

So this is now the unexpected hazardous one. Don't let it's look deceive you.

      also I lost my job again. 

   

Lastly the FOURTH HILL was based on looking at all my documents and making sure they are all going to the right bishop. This gets a sign of authorization because all my bishops agreed to let one bishop be over all of it! He is great and he has everything under control now. All my paperwork is complete  ( minus the physical) but other than that I am so close to finishing this race!!!

       I will keep you posted. 

Tomorrow the teeth come out

TOMORROW!!!!! TOMORROW I GET MY WISDOM TEETH OUT!!!!! ONE STRIKE!!!!!! AHHHHH I am soooo excited!!!!! Then all that's left is a physical which should be being dealt with in the  next 2 weeks.

But till then I am continuing to grow and spiritually prepare. I have been able to read a couple interesting articles and a lot of preach my gospel. The first thing  I have been doing is trying to memorize the first vision, D&C 4 and the purpose of a missionary. These things have been heavily on my mind as I try to keep up with work and Sundays. All I can think about is my turn. I know that the Lord is preparing me for me the most influential time of my personal existence. All the hardships, the pains the choices and the joys have lead to when I could faithfully follow the Lord's direction to sharing this most amazing gospel. However and wherever he needs me the most!!!

My turn, it's my turn.

It ends with death it begins with birth

And it's my turn, it's my turn,

It's my turn on earth.

Who are these children coming down,

Coming down like gentle rain through darkened skies?

With glory trailing from their feet as they go?

And endless promise in their eyes?

Who are these young ones growin' tall, growing strong

Like silver trees against the storm?

Who will not bend with the wind or the change

But stand to fight the world alone?

 

These are the few, the warriors save for Saturday

To come the last days of the world these are they on Saturday

These are the strong, the warriors rising in their might

To win the battle raging in the hearts of man on Saturday

 
I can't honestly express my love for all sisters that have come before me. But also I can't express my love enough to my Heavenly Father who has given me and many other young ladies the opportunity to really get down and dirty ( or should I say up ( 6:30!!!)  and pretty?) to preach the wonderful and simple truth of this gospel that has truly saved my life!

The biggest hump

          So I should catch  you up to speed. About two or three weeks ago on June 11th I was laid off and now on June 30th they asked for me to come back just for a week or two. So we shall see. ( I am still waiting to hear from other job offers if I have a job interview or not)
          This has been one of the biggest "did not see that coming" moments ever for me. I have lost a lot of pay check but I have also been given the most awesome opportunities and experiences.
         First I have been able to spend my time more efficiently  for me. For the last three weeks I stayed up and slept in and was genuinely happy.
         Secondly I have been kept busy by the cutest 2 1/2 year old ever. His name is Hudson and I have fallen in love with this little kid. I was baby sitting nights for him while his mom worked. I could not have asked for a better situation while not making money. I really did enjoy it and I hope that my schedule allows me to do so in the future.
         Third and lastly I have had a golden opportunity to go and hasten the work with our ward missionaries. Sisters Jackson, Boulis, and Nicholson. These three sisters welcomed me with open arms and really allowed to see what missionary work was really about. The rejection, the stand ups, the tours, the walking, the service projects, the library for emails, and the awesomeness that is serving a full time mission. I honestly could not be more excited for my own mission. I am dying to get a call and get out and serve! I honestly can't be any more excited.

  BUT I haven't received a physical yet and boy am I scared that something might actually be wrong with me. I am terrified that there is something actually wrong with my body enough that would disqualify me from serving.

My wisdom teeth are in a matter of weeks and I can only pray that everything will work itself out quickly and correctly.

My new way of looking at this....

                             There has to be a better way then to think of every little thing all at once. 

                         So this is going to be my challenge. To think how do I get myself to the finish line.

This is my race
the first hill is finish my dental appointments,
my second is to get my wisdom teeth out ( see how tall that is!!!!)
the third hill is all about my physical and getting all that paperwork done
the last hill will be to make sure all paper work is in order and to the right bishop

So yes essentially these four mountains ( and I am not kidding GIANTS!!!!!) are the only things stopping me from pushing submit. GR. They are in my way. The worse one is getting my wisdom teeth out because I have no insurance to help do it and I have to get rid of all 4. 

              Just pray for me because starting now I am not stopping till  these teeth are out!!

                  The other hills shouldn't be too much of a problem but let's pray I am right. 

A new path

So I had it all planned out. I was finishing my dental, I was calling the endodontist, I was even asking my insurance which doctor to go to. my biggest problem was that  I was going to have to wait till July to turn in everything.But then this phone call happened. My mom called and said my old bishop was acting up again and might not be the best bishop for me again. It 's not that I don't like this bishop but he knows the old me and he judged me pretty hard back then. I have also been having very anxious feelings about going to that bishop. So I talked with my mom and she thinks it is a better idea to put my records in my grandmother's ward and do it now where I am. Do you know how exciting that is? I mean the plan was a pretty lengthy wait but now it might not have to be. ALSO my relief society president's husband has offered to pay 10% of my mission funds every month. How crazy is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never in my life expected the support of the ward. I have been able to get a pretty good job and the job actually with 8 more paychecks will have completely paid for my mission by myself but knowing I might be able to use some of the saved money for luggage, fees, clothing or other misc. is such a blessing. I can't believe it honestly!!!
   So that's the new path. To finish my dental, call the endodontist today and ask my ensurance which doctor I can use tomorrow. Call the Bishop Sunday and see what happens. Wow this path is sooo much shorter!! Never said easier just shorter.

 to 



Here goes Nothing!!!!

I Nephi 17:50-51 - Scripture reference 

50 And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done.

 51 And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannotinstruct me, that I should build a ship?

To move a mountain,
To make the sea become dry land.
To cross an ocean,
To build a ship upon the sand.

Such things I could do
If the Lord should command,
But the Lord has commanded me

To love a neighbor,
And to forgive when I am wronged.
To keep a promise,
To have my word become my bond.

How simple and small
Are the things He has asked,
Are the things He has asked of me.

Great things and small things,
I can do all things,
All that the Lord may require.
Though the world may assail me,
God will not fail me.
He will remain by my side.
Whether He asks for the great
Or the small.
I can do them all!

He gave us weakness
And yet He calls us to obey.
And so He teaches
That we must call on Him for strength.

And such is the love
That the Father extends;
What we pray for in faith, He sends.

And through the small things
Will come the greatest things of all.

3 Years Ago, Today and the infinite atonement.

     I was reading through some very old posts that I had deleted and what not, when I realized I still had some pretty bad posts attached to this blog. Especially a post called " A few chances" DON'T go read it. It's terribly melodramatic. But I had some interesting realizations as I sat reading my awful sad self of three years ago. My how things have changed and let me show you what I mean by that. First let's review what was wrong with the old post.
     "I don't understand...so maybe something can be made plain here. Does God condemn those who don't understand everything?  Does he hate those who think differently than he? Does he not think that those who think differently want to think like he?....Does God hate those who hate? Does he dislike everyone who can't forgive? Even when that forgiveness begs to be given! Even when I would give it at the least of a second.....but cant because it still hurts too much! It's to fresh a wound. Why does pain have to hurt so deeply that you could die in it! "

    So yeah I honestly feel embarrassed that I even wrote it because I see the blasphemy now. I can't honestly believe I was so confused back then and so spiritually blind.But I am glad I can right this wrong here and now. I know the truth and that is...all of those questions don't matter. He lives and loves everyone just the same. And because I know that, I know this quote by Oscar Wilde is true too.

                                                   

As I searched for something to help me find what I had missed in that all post I  came across  this beautiful quote by a current apostle of the LDS church. David A Bednar:

                                                        

"You cannot exercise Faith in God until we acknowledge that he exists and we have a correct understanding of His Character, Nature, and Attributes. So the beginning of Faith starts in UNDERSTANDING THE CHARACTER OF CHRIST- David A Bednar"

So right there in that second quote is the word UNDERSTANDING and in the very first sentence of my melodrama is "I don't understand...so maybe something can be made plain here. Does God condemn those who don't understand everything? 

    This was my lack of faith in a nutshell. This was no one telling me that my loving Heavenly Father condemns the lack of understanding. This was me confused and hurt. So I blamed the one person in my life who has never hurt me. I know now that My Heavenly Father does not condemn anyone, but we as mere humans condemn ourselves as we blame someone for our lack of knowledge instead of growing closer by our own study and understanding.  He loves us and helps us to grow in understanding. He is pleased in our efforts as we find who we are in his countenance. He is a loving generous heavenly father who loves each and everyone of us no matter how hard that sounds. His love is eternal and his love never stops as long as we are here on this earth trying to become like him. Even when we fall short we are still loved and adored by a most high God who never leaves us. That is a promise we are made in the scriptures and in many examples of faithful people who could never have done what they did without him; Noah, Joseph, Moses, Abinadi, Nephi, and so many others.

"Does he hate those who think differently than he? Does he not think that those who think differently want to think like he?....Does God hate those who hate? Does he dislike everyone who can't forgive?"

   Man How dumb do I sound?? This is a revelation to me that I am not that person anymore. He doesn't hate anyone. Sure he might not like our decisions but who am I to believe any differently than he loves each of us unconditionally. If people didn't think differently what thoughts would be shared? What knowledge would be freely given. If everyone thought the exact same thing what agency would we have. Does he hate those who hate? hate is a very strong word and if there is anything I have learned in my years of seminary, institute, gospel docterine, gospel principles, docterine study, temple prep and mission prep is that God loves you no matter what you have done. If you love him, and respect him, he will do the same for you ten times over. Finally the question does he dislike everyone who can't forgive. I don't know the answer to that.  

          But the missionaries I was chatting with made an excellent point

" he knows what we feel when we are hurt so I don't think he gets made about that but he does want us to love and forgive others because we are all his children. Just remember he loves us just like our parents here on earth do"

The Sisters also found the perfect scripture to counter act all of that junk I tried to say.
Moroni 8:17: And I am filled with ^acharity, which is everlasting love; wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and ^bpartakers of salvation.

This made me realize the one piece in this entire puzzle that I completely missed.
    The Atonement. 
This is where all of my answers were. This is where all of my questions would have answered themselves. THIS IS the part that I didn't understand before.

Mosiah 3: 16 (16-19)   16 And even if it were possible that little achildren could sin they could not be saved; but I say unto you they are bblessed; for behold, as in Adam, or by nature, they fall, even so the blood of Christ catoneth for their sins. So something the wonderful apostle Elder Russell M. Nelson said  in October 1996 was " That brings us to the Atonement. Paul said, “As in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.” 14 The Atonement of Jesus Christ became the immortal creation. He volunteered to answer the ends of a law previously transgressed. 15 And by the shedding of His blood, His 16 and our physical bodies could become perfected. They could again function without blood, just as Adam’s and Eve’s did in their paradisiacal form. Paul taught that “flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; … this mortal must put on immortality."  Elder Nelson when on to discuss the meaning of the Atonement      Rich meaning is found in study of the word atonement in the Semitic languages of Old Testament times. In Hebrew, the basic word for atonement is kaphar, a verb that means “to cover” or “to forgive.” 19Closely related is the Aramaic and Arabic word kafat, meaning “a close embrace”—no doubt related to the Egyptian ritual embrace. References to that embrace are evident in the Book of Mormon. One states that “the Lord hath redeemed my soul … ; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.” 20 Another proffers the glorious hope of our being “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” 21      I weep for joy when I contemplate the significance of it all. To be redeemed is to be atoned—received in the close embrace of God with an expression not only of His forgiveness, but of our oneness of heart and mind. What a privilege! And what a comfort to those of us with loved ones who have already passed from our family circle through the gateway we call death  He then closes with the most profound thing I have heard in awhile and it reminds me why  I want to serve.            This is the great latter-day work of which we are a part. That is why we have missionaries; that is why we have temples—to bring the fullest blessings of the Atonement to faithful children of God. That is why we respond to our own calls from the Lord. When we comprehend His voluntary Atonement, any sense of sacrifice on our part becomes completely overshadowed by a profound sense of gratitude for the privilege of serving Him.     I can't believe that I missed such a crucial part in my life only three years ago. I didn't how to search for my fathers love. I can't believe how blind I was and how free I feel now! I am just in full awe and the amount of love I have in my heart for my Savior and our Loving Heavenly Father is almost unbelievable.   That is what I got wrong three years ago. I didn't understand and I wasn't grateful for the biggest blessing in my life. The atonement.

With Faith in every footstep

        So I officially graduated and the day after moved away to live with my grandmother who also just happened to have a job lined up for me. So here I am finally, a receptionist at a court reporting agency. Honestly this couldn't be a more perfect job for me. I get to talk to people all day, serve people by transferring calls and serving those around me as I make cookies and coffee for the office. To be honest I love the way the coffee smells but everyone knows  my grandmother and I don't drink it so it's kind of silly to have me doing it.
     I have learned a lot in just the last two days about how this office works and what people expect of a receptionist. I only hope I can get the hang of it before any problems. I know I can get pretty tongue tied and I only pray that "my tongue may be loosened" haha. It's really awful. I just can"t get the script out and I wonder how crazy I am for thinking I can do this for the next three to six months.

    As for my mission preparation. I promise it's not on hold, just on a schedule.  my next dentist appointment is on June 5th and my wisdom teeth have to be taken out soon as well. Along with a full physical I just pray everything goes smoothly and I can get my call before September.


    Much love guys. It's been a journey.
     Rach

The Last Days of Judas Iscariot and Cal Arts

So here is one of my final posts as a  Cal Arts student. Crazy no? I'm actually not sure where the days went....but there goes two more years of education and for the first time I don't feel ready to leave somewhere...but that is for another post.

This post is to discuss a play I saw last night. The MFA 2 acting students produced a play called the Last Days of Judas Iscariot by Stephen Adley Guirgis. This play is the court case of Judas Iscariot who has been placed in limbo between heaven and hell after committing suicide after his earthly betrayal of Christ. The two attorneys were both trying to convince the judge he belonged in heaven or hell. They called many witnesses including saints, Mother Theresa, Judas's mother, Caiaphas the Elder, Pontius Pilot, and Satan himself. The play was a very big laugh and I thought it was over all brilliant but some points there were brought up about heaven and hell just further proved to me that the LDS religion's view of the after life makes perfect sense.

So in case any one doesn't know the Latter Day Saints believe that before we came to Earth, that Our Heavenly Father (AKA God) created a plan that gave us the ability to live as families and mortal beings on Earth but after Earth Life still have the opportunity to be with those family members again after death. We believe that all men will be judged after life by a merciful God and that he will reward everyone with a place inside his kingdom. We believe this Kingdom will consist of three degrees of Glory. Though we as saints strive for the highest of exaltation known as the Celestial Kingdom, the second and third Kingdoms (The Terrestial and the Telestial)  are not considered hell. For the glory of the Telestial "surpasses all understanding". Therefore it is not considered hell. What we do consider the closest thing to Hell is Outer Darkness. The only people that go there are those known as "Sons of Perdition" and let me tell you it is harder to go to Outer darkness then it is to go to a kingdom of Glory.

Outer Darkness is reserved for those people who, after gaining a full knowledge of the Gospel, willfully deny and contend against the Holy Ghost. (Satan, his followers from the premortal life, and those who were born on earth but chose to become sons of perdition.) These individuals who inherit no glory, Although resurrected, and thus immortal, they willfully rebelled and rejected the right to salvation. 

So now that you have a little background let me tell you why I loved this play that I was able to attend. .There was a point in the play where Mother Theresa discussed the idea that those in spirit prison were not there because they were awful, in trouble, or going to go straight to hell, but because they don't want to face themselves yet. I know this feeling!!! I know that might sound crazy but many don't seek forgiveness because it seems too easy or they honestly don't believe they are worthy enough to be forgiven. it was the same with this play. They portrayed Judas as in a mental prison that he did not want to leave though Christ told him he was forgiven ( and to me that didn't seem untrue but probably a little weaved together for the play's sake)  He could not believe he could just be Christ's friend again after betraying him not because of what he had done but because he felt that Christ had abandoned him.

There was another moment when my favorite actor (and very close friend) in the whole world was portraying a beautiful version of Satan. He was on the witness stand for being the cause of the fall of man and being the cause of evil in the world. Satan went on to say that free agency was not something that humans should have had to deal with and that's why he and Heavenly Father disagreed. But When asked if God still loved him. He said of course. This was a whole world of mind boggling for me (see paragraph 4 - the white one) but hear him out he explained his thoughts. He said as much as he didn't agree with God, he still was made after his own image. He knew God still loved him and when the attorney yelled at him for being a liar and being cast of Heaven. Satan very calmly said something astounding. He said. I wasn't thrown from Heaven in a a blaze of fire, I left I couldn't stay because i no longer agreed with my maker but that in no way says he stopped loving me. I just stopped loving him. ( He then went on to make a joke about christmas cards and all other big holiday gift baskets...but I stopped to think about what SATAN had just honestly said and I don't think many people think Heavenly Father still loves Satan...but he is his son...so shouldn't he?)

 This answer proved something to me as a daughter of  God. I doubt the actor knew what kind of an impact this line had on me. Everyone on this Earth is a son or daughter of  my Heavenly Father.  I should love all like he loves all. As a missionary I will be teaching this love and who better  to teach then someone who has been as far away from his love as I have.He loves every single one of us, even those that chose to walk away from him or disagree. That's the amazing story of the Atonement and the amazing amount of love for all of God's children. This has been one of the biggest reasons I want to serve because every single one of his children deserve to know that he loves them and that he has a plan for them and none of them no matter the magnitude of sin that they think they have committed are too far to turn around, repent and return to Christ and their loving Heavenly Father.

Starting The Process

I kid you not when I say that my prayers have been doubly answered this week! I can't believe how much is getting done! Yesterday I prayed that if the Lord saw me fit that he would remind the bishop of my needs and would call the mission department. I only have 2 weeks to get things done before spring break and that is slightly concerning. I really wanted to have things done by the time i met with him! But now it seems like it will be a shot in the dark and a stretch to get things done. BUT that's not the point I prayed that if the Lord thought it time he would make it time. AND HE DID! The bishop opened the site for me today at 2 o clock! My coworkers must of thought I had just been proposed to because that smile didn't leave my face until i got off work and actually opened my recommendation for the first time! And i should be finished tomorrow! WOW! The Lord is looking out for me I need to make a doctor's appointment for my physical and my dental exam. Bot should go smooth but we will see. But that's it. I need to scan a few pictures here and there but I am DONE! With all the questions and info on myself! That's the most exciting part!!!

   I might just be able to go into the bishop's office in 15 days and turn everything in! WHOAAAAAAA!!! Talk about quick! But isn't quick what i want? DUH!!!


The Lord answers the prays of those who ask in dilligence!
    I know this to be the most absolutely truth there is.

The Blessing

So as all of you I am in my last semester of my BFA at Cal Arts. Well that has been really rocky this semester. I can't tell if I have senioritis or it's just truly overwhelming to do all this work at once, either way it is soooooo crazy hectic busy right now! Bishop is still trying to open my papers so i can get them started I swear he is taking forever. Then of course to add to my stress there is my show. As most of you know I am a sound designer for Cal Arts school of Theatre and it just so happens my production goes up in a week. It has been the most stressful thing to live through ever! First the bishop taking his sweet time to call the mission department, then the school getting crazy on me. Then as all things do it gets worse. haha I also am ( literally RIGHT NOW!) studying for a midterm tomorrow, looking over a cue list, and trying to write an 8 page paper. and yeah it's 1:45 in the morning. So as you can see things are out of my control and everything is due tomorrow so you can all guess what I did. I called for priesthood intervention. That's right I asked for a blessing right after institute. I asked Bro Potter. He is amazing and when I called him he seemed shocked that I was even asking for a blessing in the first place. I explained to him that life was getting overwhelming and i was really worried. He still seemed unsure. After institute we found an empty classroom in the church building and sat across from each other and just talked. Honestly I was expecting maybe him to back out of giving me the blessing and just council me. (Which would have been fine since i didn't even think anyone was listening) but he asked for my full name and off he went on the most spiritually precise blessing I could have ever asked for. He hit everything on the nose and really helped me find the second i needed to breathe. Granted my paper isn't done and the cue list might just have to wait till tomorrow but I have found the moment of peace I was asking for.  Honestly for those reading this right now I can tell you the Lord is listening! He knows our needs and knows who to put in our lives to help us realize that he knows! I truly needed Bro. P's council prior to the blessing and to hear the things he spoke on just testified to me that the Lord was listening and had direct council to me. I truly know the lord was listening to every aching cry I have delivered up to him in the last 24 hours. Unsurprisingly things aren't any better, but my attitude towards them is 100% turned for the better. I feel like I can accomplish all that the Lord has placed in my hands. Even if that means staying up all night to finish 6 more pages on this paper. Or waking up early to look over my notes for my test. The Lord knows that I strong enough to handle all he places before me and that blessing truly reminded me what my mom and my Savior and even Bro. P. knew all the time. I am strong through my Lord and Savior. Sometimes I can't do it all by myself but I can ask for a blessing and a reassurance that my Mom and Savior- Jesus Christ are cheering me every step of the way. ( No matter how badly I procrastinate stepping forward.)  - Rach

Mission Prep and opportunities

   So last Sunday was my first week at mission prep. I took a class last summer that was a mission prep class but it seemed that the class was dedicated to listening and this class now is dedicated to doing! It was amazing! We gave a “discussion” on Heavenly Father and his love for us. It was only about 10 minutes long but it was filled with the spirit! Something our “investigator” aka one of the teachers, said about us was something that has stuck with me all week (Today is Wednesday)  She said “ they may not have known exactly what to say but I knew they were telling me what they knew to be true and they said it out of love!" That’s when it hit me fully. I am in love with people I have never met ever before and that I am in love with a place I have never seen. That’s when I realized that in just 30 days I will be given the opportunity to turn in my papers and be assigned a place I have never been to before and that I will be assigned a group of people to love and serve for 18 months and the rest of my life!  Now I know I want to serve!

   I was discussing my mission in a meeting with a teacher and she laughed stating that she couldn’t understand how I could belong to an organized religion. I laughed with her but in my heart I know that I could never be anything else. I know I am a Mormon and that’s never changing. I can’t change my heart when it comes to my religion. Maybe there is safety and peace because I have been in the religion my whole life, but it’s also safe and peaceful because I know in my heart it’s true.

    I then had the opportunity to discuss the Book Of Mormon and the Word of Wisdom with a coworker who was interested in what I was planning to do after graduation.

   In all I found myself very happy to discuss the topics and it really made me see where i lack self confidence and where I could definitely brush up on dates and general knowledge that a lot of people keep asking me. (Soda/coffee/ and tea are all big ice breakers around here!

FINALLY!!!!

 I HAD A DATE WITH THE BISHOP AND WE STARTED THE PROCESS!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IS SO CLOSE BUT IT IS! I HAVE TO WAIT TILL SPRING BREAK TO SUBMIT THEM BUT I DON'T CARE THAT'S SO CLOSE I CAN WAIT TILL THEN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE OUTLOOK ON LIFE RIGHT NOW!!! AND FOR ALL THOSE STARTING THEIR PAPERS, WAITING FOR THEIR CALL, YOU ALL KNOW THIS FEELING!!!! AND BOY DO I FEEL GREAT TODAY! I HAD TO WAIT ALMOST A YEAR FOR THIS MOMENT AND TO BE HONEST IT WOULD FEEL JUST AS GOOD! I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT PATIENTLY ON THE LORD, AND I PROMISE IF YOU DO, THIS MOMENT FEELS PERFECT, COMPARABLE ONLY TO WHEN MY FUTURE COMPANION WILL FINALLY FIND ME!

   MUCH LOVE!!!